I wrote this one quickly… be gentle

This whole kid-in-the-gorilla-enclosure thing has sparked me to action… or words anyway…

I have so many issues with this entire situation – I’m not sure where to start.  Let’s start with the mom…

At what point in this lifetime did we become so fucking judgmental?  I won’t pretend to know exactly what went down to result in that kid ending up in the gorilla enclosure (and all of the attention being paid to the situation is a deterrent for me to read more about it) but let me say this: don’t you think this woman, this family, has been through enough – do we really need to run her parenting skills through the ringer?

I’m a pretty ok parent and only by the grace of god have my kids never ended up in this situation – well maybe not this PARTICULAR situation. I’m weird about zoos, irrational to say the least but, in all honesty – if I didn’t hate walking around in 98 degree temperatures, smelling animal dung – I’d probably be sitting here telling you my own horrific kid/zoo story.  First of all – kids are little assholes.  Ok, ok, ok that might be offensive – lemme talk only of what I know – MY kids are little assholes.  I can be very clear regarding dangerous situations and my kids will think they are immune to it all (well, not Alex – she’s of a different breed, but she is the exception and NOT the rule).

Cal, Abby and I hiked around Shawnee park Sunday, the most dangerous situation was a (maybe) 20 foot ledge on the path over the lake – how many times did I have to tell the kids to back up?  God forbid I lose myself in the flora and fauna of my surroundings – those little shits woulda been in the water – those little shits are a ton older than the kid in question.  My point being – who the hell are we to judge this mom?  In any public situation I am one over-sized-person-in-too-tight-clothes away from being totally distracted to the point my kid could be hanging over the edge of the Grand Canyon and I’d be all caught up in, “…does she NOT have a mirror at home????”

I don’t care if this woman was gawking at a hot mess of a person walking by; I don’t care if she was busy with another child.  I don’t care if this woman was overcome by shock at the size of an elephant’s penis (this actually goes back to a very early story in my parent’s marriage – “Dan!  look at that elephant!  He has FIVE LEGS!!!!”  “Shut up Eileen…..”) – no parent can ever say they have full control over their kids at all times.  The woman was taking her kid to the zoo – she was actively engaging her child… let’s save our judgement for – oh! yeah… we aren’t supposed to pass judgement…  hmmmmmmm novel thought.

I just read an article entitled “The 40 most hated players of the NFL” – number 39 was Brandon Bostick.  This name probably means nothing to most of you… to Green Bay Packers fans – his name conjures up an image of missed opportunities.  He was the guy who was supposed to block during an onside kick in the NFC Championship game a couple of years ago – the best hands in the league (IMO) were behind him – block for Jordy and we go to the Super Bowl… only… he decided his hands were just as good.  He bobbled the ball and 2 weeks later the Seahawks represented the NFC in the Super Bowl.

The connection?  He made a fucking mistake.  Like the mom in question – don’t you think he’d like to have that moment back????  And he’s one of the MOST HATED players in the game???  He didn’t stomp on a player while he laid on the turf… he made a split second decision that turned out not so good.  Really??? and this leaves him hated to such a degree that I’ve read he still needs therapy…  first of all – the game went on for a considerable time after that (including OT)…

Sorry, my tangent is taking on a life of its own – every situation can lead to a mistake, a life altering mistake – why do we as a people feel the need to question these decisions?  You think this mom isn’t questioning herself???  Dear God people, she wasn’t shooting up heroine and leaving her dirty needle around for her kid to find it – she took the kid to the zoo and he did what kids do – it ended badly, please show some compassion.  She will, for the rest of her life, relive that day (as will Brandon Bostick) it will be a living hell without you and I telling her what a POS she is…

Now to the gorilla.  I love the average Joe’s out there screaming, “he was protecting the boy!!!!!!” I’m not saying he was, I’m not saying he wasn’t – what I’m saying is – shut the hell up already.  If my kid is in a gorilla enclosure, unexpectedly – I want that gorilla shot.  I mean shoot that damned gorilla and shoot it again and again and again.  I don’t give 2 shits what Joe Blow thinks is going on in there – shoot that mother effer.  Is it sad?  hell yes.  Is it awful?  obviously.  I.don’t.give.a.shit.

‘If my kid is in a gorilla enclosure, unexpectedly…’ I’m leaving myself an opening here on the off-chance I toss one of them in in a fit of rage….

The zoo is now falling all over itself explaining why the shooter did what he (she?) did…  STOP!  you owe me nothing.  I will defer to your judgement every single time.  It would never occur to me to second guess a decision – an educated decision – that was time sensitive and involved the life or death of a human being.  There is nothing about this situation which warrants our criticism, our questions or any demands for answers.

Show compassion people.  A woman got distracted, her child did the unimaginable and a zoo worker had to do the unthinkable PERIOD.  You’d think this woman were on a bench, blitzed out of her gourd, got up stumbling thereby knocking her kid into the enclosure; with an excited zoo worker sitting there hoping something like this would happen so he could snuff out this animal like he was on a paid hunt.  Stop!  Let these people deal with their own, individual hell without judgement from us…

Let’s get this situation out of the headlines and instead let’s question why my music teaching sister-in-law is losing her job.  Ask why schools are cutting the arts – those very programs that have proven time and time again to develop our children beyond the core curriculum.  Quit calling out a tragically unlucky mom and start calling out the people who are doing more harm to our children by going against proven results.  Stop tearing apart a devastating situation with no chance for a positive outcome and start questioning bad decisions made by people who have other, more child-centric options.

Pick your cause – my sister-in-law is my cause of choice right now.  She teaches in North Carolina – quite a distance from my school district; but her situation will set a precedent.  We are losing our children to testing and bad budget decisions; one distracted mom is not our enemy – she is you and me on a regrettably national level, let’s spend our time protecting ALL of our kids….