toilets, trips and hirsutism

We had a ” Big Reveal” date with the Dinocennti’s last night (alright ya buncha pervs – we’ve both had some remodeling done recently).  Our sun room is only about 60% but it’s sixty mostly-high-impact percent so we wanted to show it off. Annie claims WE won the “Big Reveal” (not sure why everything has to be a competition with her) and while I do hafta say our sun room looks fab… no way we beat them.
These people have a remote control for their toilet fer chrissake! I’m serious. I was sorta nervous but she insisted I try it out. Let’s just say my lacking tech-knowledge was never more apparent. Yes, I have literally reached my low point – I was outsmarted by a toilet.
There was deodorizing (which, for the record, was unnecessary – dear God I don’t even talk about pooping let alone DO it outside of my home), rinsing, blow drying… quite frankly, I’m mentally scarred.
Incidentally, they haven’t yet fully programmed the remote; I have forbidden them to tell me who will be ‘User 1’ or ‘User 2’ – I’m gonna spend my entire summer trying to figure it out on my own….
With the reveals outta the way, pizza and beer flowing, random symptoms and subsequent diagnosing behind us (this is the Annie/Karen specialty); we moved on to the 2 I’s upcoming vacation – European Karen of 2014 has evolved to Cancun Karen in 2016. How we had gotten to this point in our lives without Annie knowing of my leg waxing appointment later this morning, I’ll never know; yet here it was completely fresh news that had her mesmerized. I’d like to say that her request to see my 5-weeks growth was awkward, but… it just wasn’t. As I started to pull up my pant leg I said, “The appointment keeps getting pushed back and every time the woman says – don’t touch anything – longer is better! …it’s my armpits that are really the most appalling. Everyday as I look over to put on my deodorant I think to myself, ‘Karen… what have you become?'” I then, briefly, considered getting Annie’s reaction to the armpit but the look on our husbands’ faces stopped me in my tracks.  And that, my friends, was the end of “Big Reveal” night……..