elf this……………….

So…. Buddy the asshole made his appearance yesterday.  Don’t panic – I’m not going to post daily updates of Buddy’s escapades – that shit would break Mother Teresa…

Incidentally – I’m pretty sure it was Dan who thought it imperative for our kids to share in the Elf on the Shelf frivolity… I’ll give you one guess as to how much effort DAN puts into Buddy and his antics (hint: it’s the same amount of effort he puts into wrapping the kids’ gifts).

Anyway, Buddy – being fresh from the North Pole – caused quite a stir with one Abigail Iseminger yesterday; so much so, she wrote him a letter…

…then requested a response.

After a semi-long day at work, an even longer evening chasing Iseminger kids all over Bedford county and a couple of hours penning another blog post (it’s still in the planning stages – watch for it in the next few days) – I considered sleeping on the stairs rather than trying to muster the energy to climb them.

And then I remembered…

Buddy…

and that blasted letter from Abby.

Oh shit… oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, hell, damn, ass, piss, fuck, cockwaffles…  I had to write a response from that sonuvabitchin elf…

I sat down with the letter from Abby (it was absolutely delightful by the way) and responded to each of her questions.  I wanted to half-ass it but just kept thinking back to Abby’s utter joy when she saw that asshole yesterday… She’s our last true “believer” and there is something magical about it all.  So, there I sat for about 40 minutes – writing a letter back – making extra sure it didn’t sound like I wrote the damned thing.

I printed it out, signed Buddy’s name (in unrecognizable print) and looked all over for the perfect place to put that hateful shithead.

There I was… about 50 minutes after I had initially started my ascent to our bed; finally reaching the promise land.  First I shamed myself for being such a turd about staying up late to do this for my baby girl; then I fell asleep with a smile, imagining Abby’s reaction to her note from Buddy…

As predicted – she was thrilled when she saw the note from Buddy.  She sat down to read it and I asked what Buddy had to say.  She looked at me, lips pursed, irritated, “ugh I don’t know mom… this is so hard to read – why does Buddy have to write so danged much???”