So Dan Iseminger had the day off today…
Lemme say this about that – I fucking love Dan-at-home days!!! I could work 10, 12, 27 hours a day if I knew he was home. He doesn’t even have to do anything; I can’t explain it – I just feel so derned relieved when he’s here manning the conn. Now, that’s not to say my life eases up much; I can’t tell you how many texts I’ve sent him asking what exactly his purpose in the home is, if I’m still getting multiple phone calls from Moe, Moe and Shirley.
“Dad’s out working on his car…. we didn’t want to bother him.” Never mind the fact I’ve just put a doctor on hold because I assumed only a death would lead to them calling me. Nope, they want to know if gum really hangs out in the stomach for 7 years.
Anyway… Dan had the day off and if memory serves, he promised some ridiculous changes around here. His optimism is both endearing and irritating; the only way 10 hours will result in sweeping changes around here is if unchecked flames are involved.
I did, however, get home to an empty dining room table… this, my friends, knocks on the door of revolutionary.
I emptied our pantry onto that table for the new floor installation 23 days ago, the floor was installed 21 days ago. We went on vacation, got back and decided we needed acryllic shelf protectors; I ordered the stuff then Dan had to cut it (we know our roles here people – I dream up stuff, Dan makes it happen). So anyway, for 3 weeks we’ve had no dining room table. Tonight everybody got to sit during dinner – epic.
Initially Dan feared the power of organizing the pantry… ok, ok, ok he feared me bitching about the way he organized the pantry (fair enough). He did a fine job (baking stuff up top, completely out of reach – and most likely expired) and was so proud to explain his process; I was enraptured (he had even alphabetized the spices… dear God my eyes rolled back in my head) and then… then he tapped an eye-level, front and center shelf and said, “…this is the pickled food shelf…”
“Wha…? We need an entire shelf devoted to pickled foods? Where the fuck am I?”
“…and this shelf is for my odd vegetables and weird canned meats…”
Dammiiiiiiiittttt – this is the very shit I was gonna toss when I organized the pantry. What the hell? Does he not have a job? Why was he not at work today?