So 2 things have completely pissed me the hell off this week and my family is at fault for neither – somebody write that shit down…
Now I know I promised to keep this blog light and fun but dammit, either I get this off my chest or Dan’s bringing the kids for weekly phone call visits through a glass partition…
Both transgressions are the result of me reading. The first was in a blog; dear God I hate bloggers (like actors who don’t own a tv… I get it). It’s really not all that ironic; my blog was born out of frustration in reading other bloggers’ irritating crap. I wanted to see if I could break the mold. No unsolicited advice, no obscenely obvious lists or instructions on being a better person/woman/parent/spouse, no taking hacks at completely fabricated offenses against humanity… just good ol’ fashioned ridiculing of those I hold closest to my heart. Today I shall deviate from my intended course, please pardon my rant.
Anywho… irritating blogger writes a blog in response to a blog (I’m not even drinking); IB as she shall henceforth be known, was explaining why she won’t take original blogger’s advice to ‘let kids do the stuff they are capable of doing’. IB goes on for paragraphs (20 minutes of my life I’ll never get back) about brushing her 9 year old’s hair and the nightly ritual that follows (tucking in, praying, talking, bonding… the Waltons look like Roseanne Barr’s family next to this douche…). She finished up her thinly veiled run for Mom-of-the Year with, ‘I know my daughter is capable of brushing her own hair but for now… I will continue to enjoy doing it for her’.
First of all… if you want the world to know how you bond with your child – just fucking say, “I love our nightly routine, let me tell you about it…” please don’t make up a stupid, embarrassing defense against an imaginary attack.
I didn’t read original blogger’s blog – my common sense tells me – original blogger was blogging about teaching your kids independence. My kids do their own laundry, have made their own school lunches since kindergarten… you know… that kinda shit. Shut the hell up about you and your stupid refusal to kowtow to original blogger’s subpar parenting standards; you’ve now done nothing more than make an ass of yourself -discuss that while brushing your daughter’s hair why dontcha.
Since we’re talking nightly rituals – I’ll share the Isemingers’ (and THAT is how you transition my friends)… it starts with me looking at Alex’s back as she storms upstairs; I usually then look to Dan for clarification of who just pissed her off (he rarely knows although it’s a safe bet I was involved). I’m usually repeatedly asking Cal why he’s not yet in bed. I’d like to claim this as another good parenting gesture however, the fact is… his bedroom is next to ours – I need for him to be in bed and asleep… if ya know what I’m getting at here. Dan does not make Cal’s state of slumber a priority – he’s a guy… couldn’t care less if the boy is wide awake reading. I hate him for this…. Once I’ve completely lost my cool getting him upstairs then Abby comes down for 1 more kiss… 17 times. Seeing this in print makes me wonder how we got to this point – I’m the mom who can stop bad behavior with the flicker of 1 eyelid, across a football field. The truth is – I have no answer – bedtime is a flurry of activity and somehow it gets out of hand…. Perhaps I should get a good brush….
Where was I? Oh… irritating blogger – I wanted to tell her I thought she missed the point but I worried she’d get all her blogger friends to boycott my blog – I’ve sold out… 2 months into my new hobby… goodbye soul.
The second fucktard is the author of “Why Your Prescription Takes so Damn Long to Fill.” It’s an honest to goodness book; my guess is it’s self-published based on the errors (a point Dan and I both find degrading to our profession – if you’re gonna write an entire novel ranting about how stupid everybody else in our industry is… please, I implore you… proofread your fucking book). This guy has some very funny and entertaining musings but mostly he uses this book as a platform for his extremist political views. He is a zealot; this guy is a Prius tank of gas past the far left. What he lacks in tolerance for those of differing views he more than makes up for in arrogance… The answer to why am I continuing to read this guy’s narcissistic rants is the same reason my kids’ bedtime lacks no structure – I truly have no answer.
The section that led to this blog:
Then I heard it.
And I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.
And I gladly stand up, next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land, God bless the USA!
The absolute worst part of the worst song ever recorded wafted over the store’s radio system, through the chaos of the pill room, and into my head. I hate how he says he won’t forget the men who died and the implication that any women killed in the service of the American Empire he loves so much aren’t worth the effort it would take to remember them.
ya gotta be fucking kidding me… Does this asshat really think that was Lee Greenwood’s intent? Taking a shot at women in uniform? Listen… I am that woman who bitches ’cause the women’s restroom is always a longer walk than the men’s – I get it buddy; we women sometimes get a pretty bad shake… but I feel quite confident in saying this ain’t ona those times. Has anybody else EVER come to the conclusion that Lee is telling women in uniform they are insignificant?
I find it awfully telling that this book is not traceable to it’s author – he writes under the nom de plume “Drugmonkey” – chickenshit asshole. If you’re gonna lash out at America, the customers/corporation paying your salary and everybody who doesn’t share your views… well… at least be man (or woman – take note Lee Greenwood) enough to stand behind your error-riddled gibberish!
Alright… I’m done and I feel slightly better.